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Top Goals

by on November 16, 2010

Our Top Goals Are Also Our Common Disappointments

If I were to ask you right now, point blank, what are your personal disappointments from the last year, could you easily list them?  Most people can.

The foundation of much of my work is a planning and implementation system called Best Year Yet. The initial planning session is a ten-question process resulting in a one-page  plan for the next year.  One of the questions requires participants to make note of disappointments over the past twelve months.

Most often, the list of disappointments is written quickly and with little challenge.  Individuals are almost never hard-pressed to remember what they didn’t do well, who or what disappointed them, or the mistakes they made.  With hundreds and hundreds of individuals having participated in this process with me, there have been recurring themes in the disappointments listed. These disappointments just happen to correspond to top goals.

When it comes to the disappointments that are common among us, it’s rare for an individual not to have listed something about health and fitness.  Disappointments range from “I gained 20 pounds,” to “I didn’t work out” and everything in between.

Top Goals Are Often Around Money

Is one of your top goals around money?

Another common theme is around money. Usually it’s not making enough, not saving enough, or spending too much.  The third area in which most participants voice dissatisfaction is time spent with loved ones.  It’s never enough.

Looking back over this past year, do you share these common disappointments?  If so, know that you’re not alone.  At the same time, it’s high time to do something about it.  Easier said than done, but no excuses. Are you willing to take the necessary steps?

Most challenges such as this are best handled one step at a time.  First gain a complete understanding of your current scenario, including what’s going on in your head. What are your limiting beliefs about this situation? Start by asking yourself some questions.  Here are some examples to help you get started:

~~What is it that prevents me from making and keeping an appointment with myself to go to the gym?

~~How would I feel if I lost those twenty pounds?

~~What’s in it for me if I improve my fitness level?

~~What’s in it for my friends and family if I improve my fitness level?

~~What do I want to accomplish in terms of my health?

~~What is it that I’m allowing to get in the way?

Armed with a complete understanding of the situation as it now exists and the limits you’ve placed on yourself, next imagine the scenario you’d prefer.  Take a few minutes, close your eyes and daydream. Perhaps you’re visioning yourself in the best shape of your life.  What does it feel like?  What does it look like?

You’re now ready to set the goals that will help to make your vision a reality. First make sure your goals are specific and measurable, and then break them down into action items.

Finally, the last step is about doing.  Commit to your action steps.  Need to be held accountable?  Share your goals with someone who cares and ask them to check with you on a weekly basis to see how you’re doing.

What top goal do you want to ace this year? What common disappointment do you want to cross off your list once and for all?  Is it about health and fitness, money, spending time with loved ones?  Select one and get started today.

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Change Your Thoughts to Achieve Your Goals

by on November 2, 2010

Yesterday I was pulling papers together for the recycle bin. I was going through a pile of old magazines and took a couple minutes out to read an article about Wayne Dyer in a year-old issue of Success Magazine. There was a quote by Dr. Dyer at the top of both pages of the article. These quotes really grabbed me so I feel compelled to share…

“You can make your life whatever you wish if you learn to make your thoughts work for you.”  I know from working with hundreds and hundreds of clients over the last dozen years (and from observing myself!) that our thoughts ultimately determine the results we get.

Your Thoughts Determine Your Actions
and Your Actions Determine Your Results

In other words, we become what we think. If you’re always thinking “I can’t,” you will be right. Dr. Dyer says most people aren’t good at attracting what they want into their lives because their thoughts are always focused on what’s wrong, what’s missing, and the problem.

Change your thoughts to achieve your goals.

I agree with him. Every day I talk with individuals who – unknowingly – have trained their minds to focus on the negative. In my work with individuals and in my coaching groups, I use the world-renowned Best Year Yet system. An integral part of this system is acknowledgement and so I begin every session with the question “What have you accomplished?” It sometimes seems as though that is the most difficult question in the world to answer. The majority of people want to start with the negative, or they’ll state something positive and immediately follow it with a “but…” It’s literally as though they have trained themselves only to think of the negative. I think for some, focusing on the negative has become a habit.

The good news is we have the ability to change our thinking. It may not happen overnight, but little by little, you can do it. The first step is to become aware of your thoughts. When you think about yourself, do you spend more time pondering the difficulties in your life, or do you spend more time envisioning the accomplishment of your goals? Become a brilliant observer of yourself. Here’s an exercise you can try: become aware of the words that come out of your mouth following the 2 words “I am.” Do you hear words such as afraid, tired, a failure, overwhelmed?  If so, make a conscious effort to change those thoughts and words. Instead, use words like brilliant, happy, filled with energy.

Another practice you can utilize to help change your thinking is to answer the question “What have I accomplished?” at the end of every day. Think about all the good things you did that day, any successes you had – no matter how small (or big!), anything you feel good about or are proud of. If the word “but” comes into your mind, simply cancel it.

Dr. Dyer says “To change the way you think about your life and create success for yourself, you need to put your attention on what you intend – what you intend to create – what you intend to manifest.”

Here’s my challenge to you: starting right now, simply become aware of your negative thoughts. Catch them and let them go. Awareness brings its own rewards.

Change your thoughts. Change your life.

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